The worst thing is to be different and have to deal with kids. “It is not their fault, they are just kids”, someone would say but the point is that I was kid too and those kids were hurting my feelings….
I was born 27 years ago in a small village (1000 residents) in Cyprus. Cyprus is a small island in the Mediterranean Sea for those they haven’t heard about it before. I learn that what I have is a Syndrome with a name and that I am not the only one in the world two years ago!
When I was born my parents notice on my third day that something was wrong with me and so their fight begun… No one could tell them what is wrong with me. They couldn’t understand if this is something external, temporary or has affected me mentally. In my case Moebius syndrome affected only the left side of my face which I can’t move and of course the lateral movement of my eyes.
While I was growing up I was becoming a very clever and social girl but when time for kindergarten had came a psychologist advised my parents that is better to send me in a special school to avoid problems with other kids. Thanking God they didn’t.
During my whole years in all school levels I had to do with different kind of kids. Most of them were hesitant with me at first but when they knew me better it was like I was normal. But always exist these guys who think that they are popular and handsome and don’t accept someone not as beautiful as them. They called me names like fox, little monster or they just twisted their mouth and talking pretending me. I’ve never gave them the confidence to know that they were hurting me. I was pretending that this was not affecting me but when I was at home in my room I could not prevent myself from crying. I don’t know if that attitude of me was good or bad, but I was too proud to show that I was hurt. I’ve never told that to anyone not even to my parents. Until today my parents believe that I am the strongest girl and the fact that I am different is not an obstacle for me at all. Fortunately they don’t speak English so they will not find out that I am not such strong after all.
At university things were different. (I forgot to say that today I am a Civil Engineer with an Msc in Structural Engineering and I am working for the Cyprus Government in Bridge Department). God blessed me with many good friends at University but never with a relationship. I was not pretty enough for a guy to see me more than a friend… The only guy I have ever interested about rejected me because he couldn’t accept my difference.
Nevertheless, I should not be complaining my life was as normal as it could be under the circumstances. I had many surgeries to correct the problem but without knowing the problem how is possible to correct it? Fortunately two years ago while my father was reading a newspaper he read an interview from a doctor who came from South Africa in which he was describing a syndrome with effects exactly like my situation. We contacted the doctor who explained me about Moebius and we agree to have the smile surgery so now I can smile from both sides but only when I remember to do it (for the moment).
What I will never get over is that, even now, when a child sees me he/she looks at me with “that look” and asks his/her parents: “Mom why does she look like this? What is wrong with her? “Of course I try not to show my disturbance when the mother says to me that she is sorry, it is just a kid….
My big complaint from my life though is that I have to accept the fact that no guy will ever see me more than just a good friend and that means that I will stay alone…